Pam Knuth

Nate and I were only married a few months when we found out we were expecting our first baby. Excitement, nervousness and happiness all explain how we were feeling as we prepared to welcome our baby. We decorated the nursery, bought all the baby supplies, my sister had a shower for us .... we did all the things couples do to get ready for baby! On May 27, 1999 my life changed forever. Our beautiful baby boy was born, but instead of happiness, our emotions changed to fear and sadness as our Cole Lewis was born with a hole in his heart and many other birth defects. Everything happened so fast ... they whisked away my baby to the nicu and quickly flew him and Nate to Minneapolis to see if they could help him there. Before they left, we quickly had him baptized. 12 hours after Cole was born, he peacefully passed away in his daddy's arms and went to be with Jesus. You may wonder how this sad story can be my "God Story", but it's in the time spent after Cole's death that brought me closer to our God and has kept me there ever since. In every difficult step I took grieving our baby, I saw Jesus. In my darkest days, he was there. I felt him with me in that painful time of my life and I've learned to keep Jesus close while outwardly showing my faith to others. From that experience of losing our child so unexpectedly and quickly, I have learned that my spiritual faith is strong and I strive to keep it strong. Jesus is all around us, in good times and in bad, you just have to look for him.